


Black Day at the Hub

by alba17



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 03:54:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alba17/pseuds/alba17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a day like any other. Until Owen turned up mysteriously naked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black Day at the Hub

**Author's Note:**

> For comment_fic prompt, somebody develops an allergy to clothes.

It was a day like any other. Ianto had his “get brain into gear” coffee, put on the clothes he’d selected the evening before and made his way to the Hub, picking up a selection of the team’s favourite pastries on the way. He was going to the kitchenette to set down the pastry box and start up the day’s first pot of coffee when a pale blur caught his attention out of the corner of his eye.

No. It couldn’t be. No matter how hungover he came to work, Owen was always at least dressed. Ianto walked backwards every so slowly to get a better look.

Sure enough, there was Owen going through one of his supply drawers in the medical bay, quietly humming and naked as a peeled banana.

“Oh, hello there, Ianto. Got my orange scone?” he said, blithely ignoring his unusual state of undress.

Ianto was silent for a moment, taking in the fact that yes, Owen was naked and what’s more, he was acting like it was totally normal. Was this some kind of alien thing? Had he touched an artifact he wasn’t supposed to? “Um...er...”

“Come on, teaboy, out with it. Things to do, places to be,” Owen said with his usual diplomacy, turning back to taking inventory of his instruments or whatever he was doing.

“Like that?” Ianto said with an arched brow.

“What?” Owen asked. “Oh.” He looked down at himself. “Right.” He threw shut the drawer and turned to face Ianto, putting his hands on his hips so he was fully displayed.

Bastard. Ianto blubbed something unintelligible and raised the pastry box so he didn’t have to see that which was normally politely hidden from view. “Owen!” he yelled, fed up.

Owen laughed as if he hadn’t found anything funny for at least ten years. He clapped his hands together and bent over, overcome. “Ianto. You should have seen your face!”

Ianto stiffened. “I can only assume you lost a really bad bet or you went on the worst bender ever.”

Owen sobered up. “Well, it’s the craziest thing. Since yesterday, I cannot stand wearing clothes. I mean it. I start getting dressed and everything begins to itch, I start hyperventilating. I even had hives. So I decided just to fuck it and go au naturel today until I figure out what’s causing it.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Really? It’s not a prank?”

“It really isn’t.”

“You can’t even wear pants?”

“No. Sorry.”

Ianto sighed, resigned to a day of assiduously avoiding the medical bay. He started to continue on his way to the kitchenette, then turned back. “I just have one request. Please, please, please stay away from Gwen and Tosh today. For all our sakes.”

“Oh, I think Jack might get some amusement out of the situation.”

“That might very well be the case but the rest of us live in the 21st century. Just,” he gesticulated vaguely, “keep behind a table or something, can’t you? What about a hospital gown?”

“Sorry, Ianto, no can do. Any kind of fabric sets it off. I’ll just have to research it and hope I find a solution.” He thought for a moment. “Wonder if Jack’s seen anything like this...”

“I’ll ask him when he makes an appearance.” Thinking more about Jack, he added, “You know what, you better just keep away from everyone today, yeah?”

“Even Janet?”

“Especially Janet.”

Owen frowned at him. Ianto ignored it. “I’ll be sending your scone down by carrier pigeon,” he said and turned on his heel, determined to ignore the entire situation, for the good of his mental health.


End file.
